The Amount of Choices
Studies show that while we covet the ideas of freedom and abundant choice, those of us with fewer choices are actually much happier. If we know, for the most part, who we are and how our lives are going to play out, we have less to think about and are able to be more present without questioning and doubting ourselves. If we have more choices – often the result of increased financial freedom – we’re at risk for feeling less happy because opportunities to doubt ourselves and question our choices are everywhere.
When we’re just trying to mind our own parenting business and are faced with the stay at home parent, the work at home parent with no help, the work at home parent with a full staff, the religious parent, the homeschooling parent, the traveling parent, the homemade baby food parent, the attachment parent, and all of the parents in between, it’s really no wonder we’re all driving ourselves crazy. Every decision we make means there’s a decision we’re not making. And when the consequence of a “wrong” decision is the wellbeing of the child or children we would lay down over the railroad tracks for, parenting can feel excruciating.
Keep Your Eyes on the Road
There is a difference between being open to new parenting concepts and opening yourself up to a mountain of self doubt that does nothing other than make you feel like a less-than-enough-parent. So what’s the solution? Keep your eyes on the road. When we’re driving our cars, we don’t look into the car next to us to see what that person has in their cup holder or what their seats are lined with. If we did, we would crash and hurt ourselves. When we peer into the the lives of others too often, we crash and hurt ourselves just the same.
Even though we might have thought we were just acquiring information about how another person drives or what their car looks like, we end up all banged up with zero positive outcome. We are far worse off than we were before we decided to look over.
Each of us is doing the best we can with what we have. We are exactly who our children need us to be. We were chosen to be theirs. We are the ones – the only ones – who could be doing the job we are meant to be doing as perfectly as we are doing it for the babies and children that we have.
You don’t have to be a mom that you’re not, and you don’t have to know everything (in fact, everything you need to know is already in your gut!) The mom that you are is perfectly imperfectly fine. You don’t have to be perfect, you just have to be good enough. And my, are you so, so good enough, mama.
Laura Max Rose is a writer, web designer, marketing maven, TV contributor, wife and mama. She is the owner of Laura Max Rose LLC, a boutique web design, brand consulting and social media marketing company. She lives in the Heights in Houston, Texas with her husband Ben, their daughter Selma Baines and their son – nay, golden-doodle – Hampton.